Michael Sam is off the market… Miley Cyrus burglarized… Chris Martin back together with Jennifer Lawrence… Andi Dorfman breaks her engagement… and Bill Cosby jokes about sexual assault

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It looks like Michael Sam is off the market. I’m not talking about his football career — unless that’s down the toilet — I’m talking about marriage. Michael and his longtime boyfriend, Vito Cammisano, have been vacationing in Europe since December 30, celebrating NYE in Spain and then moving on to Italy. Michael reportedly proposed to Vito in Rome.

Does Miley Cyrus have ADT? A security guard? A dog? ANYTHING to protect her home when she’s not there??? For the third time in just over a year, Miley has been burglarized. The latest happened on December 16 at her home in Toluca Lake. The thief took a bunch of Miley and her brother’s personal stuff, as well as Miley’s bank card. They’ve made an arrest in the case — some guy who’s got a burglary record, even though he’s pleading not guilty to this particular case. Back in May, an Arizona couple broke into Miley’s home in the San Fernando Valley, taking clothes, purses, jewelry, and a Maserati. And then in November 2013, Miley had $100K worth of jewelry and purses stolen.

There I was thinking Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin were working things out and now we hear he’s back together with Jennifer Lawrence. They started dating last August, but broke up in October. But they worked out some issues — like Gwyneth, I guess — and now they’re dating again. In fact, a source told “People” they’ve BEEN dating for a while now. It’s just that they’re both busy and they have to see each other when they can.

On Monday night, Bachelorette Andi Dorfman and her fiancé Josh Murray were on the red carpet for the season premiere of “The Bachelor.” Chris Harrison asked the obvious, “So, when’s the wedding?” And Andi rubbed his back as Josh replied that there were no immediate plans. Fast forward to yesterday and we get the news that the engagement is off! (Is ANYONE surprised……really…..) The now former couple issued a statement saying, “After several months of being engaged and working on our relationship, we have decided that it’s best for both of us to go our separate ways. We are very sad that it has come to this point, but this is what’s best for both of us individually.” A source told RadarOnline.com that in the end, theirs was more of a business partnership than a relationship. The source said, “Producers were always forcing them to make appearances together and act a certain way and it got old. Going to the premiere together was the last straw. They couldn’t pretend anymore.”

Despite the controversy swirling around him, Bill Cosby is a firm believer in “The show must go on!” With a sub-zero wind chill factor, about 150 protestors showed up outside his performance in Ontario last night, where Bill played to a half-full audience. About an hour into his show, a woman on the front row got up and started walking out so Bill asked her where she was going. She said she was going to get a drink and offered to get Bill one and he said, “You have to be careful drinking around me.” At first the audience gasped but then people started applauding. But one heckler ended up getting thrown out when he yelled, “You’re a rapist!” And at the end of the show? A standing ovation. Bill has another show scheduled in Ontario tonight and then other shows in the US throughout February.