I decided to do a follow-up on Mr. Yummy — that guy a mom at my daughter’s school wanted to set me up with. It’s been a couple of weeks and I hadn’t heard from her. Not that I was anxious or anything……..I’m just a little curious. I mean, that one picture I managed to find after cyber-stalking him WAS pretty yummy. So what was the harm in shooting her a quick email asking if she’d said anything to him yet? That doesn’t necessarily reek of desperation, does it?

So I sent the email and waited. And waited. Not that I kept obsessively checking for a response or anything, but exactly 26 hours and 22 minutes later she finally responded with a cheery, ” Mr. Yummy met someone recently. Total bummer because I think you would have liked him.”

LIAR!!

Here’s what happened (in my head):  She called Mr. Yummy and innocently asked, “Hey! Are you seeing anybody?” To which he responded, “Nope.” And then she said, “I have got the PERFECT girl for you! Have you ever heard of Kellie Rasberry?” And then he said, “Um…..Not just no — HELL to the no.” (In my head, he’s a huge Whitney Houston fan.) And then she apologized profusely for tainting his yummy ears with the mere mention of my disgusting name and had to come up with this cockamamie story about how Mr. Yummy had already met the love of his life, aka “someone.”

And I’m officially done with being set up on blind dates.