What happened to all those things I wanted to get done during my two weeks off? Oh yeah….I tried to pretend like I was a 20-something the entire time and my social life ended up kicking me in the face. So I’m starting off 2016 a little banged up and bloated, but hey! I had fun, didn’t I? I think….

Of course, I’m making a long list of New Year’s Resolutions. Why isn’t everybody? I hate it when people say they don’t “do” resolutions. Is that because by not doing them, they think they’re SO much better than the rest of us lemmings who keep setting ourselves up for failure year after year?? Oh yeah?? I’ll bet all those NON-resolutioners are the same ones who turn their radio dials over to NPR and set the volume on “mellow” right when they’re about to pull up to the valet, just so the valet will know he’s parking the car of a super smart person. Whatever! I’m going to set my resolutions, dang it. Setting them is half the fun! Seeing how long I go before giving up is the other half.

Now, there are some resolutions I can be very open about, like drinking more water…being in the outdoors with my daughter more often…cooking more meals at home…actually finishing the five or so books I’ve started…getting my closet organized…doing everything that Jenna does….

But there are some resolutions I have to keep very private out of the pure shame I would suffer from revealing I even have to make them in the first place. All I will admit to is this — some of these resolutions were made based upon my acting like a 20-something-year-old fool for the past two weeks. End of story.

So what did I manage to get done these two weeks off? I binge-watched all the episodes of “The Royals” on E! Oh, how I love that. I also caught up on season two of “Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce” on Bravo. Oh, how I love that, too. I also watched a “Fixer Upper” marathon and wondered, A) How have I gone my entire life without ever hearing the word “shiplap” before, and B) Will I ever find my Chip Gaines?? But who am I kidding…I’m no JoJo. I don’t even think I can set a resolution for that.